аЯрЁБс>ўџ SUўџџџTџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџьЅСq` №П0k:bjbjqPqP .R::E2%џџџџџџЄ       Ђ Ђ Ђ 8к 4 $іЖ> > "` ` ` ` ` ` uwwwwww$ЌhB› Q` ` QQ›  ` ` АљљљQd ` ` uљQuљљ  љ` 2  =n-ФЂ ЕXљuЦ0іљV ”VљV љ|` Ъ*љКt.#` ` ` ››ЁX` ` ` іQQQQ„Ђ Ђ       џџџџ Pieces of Peace: Spreading a Culture of Tolerance Lubna Al-Kazi In the last fifty years there has been more widespread conflict across the world, than ever before. Leaders have measured their success by the time involved, the number of casualties and the sophisticated weapons used. They do not see beyond the power structure to the trauma of the families whose sons, daughters and husbands are at risk or even statistics of the death toll. They are not aware how dehumanized these soldiers have become by using long distance weaponry The increased emotional distance from others with long range missiles has made the soldiers see people as targets and not human beings. They are no longer human lives but “the enemy”. This total lack of human feeling has led people to fight beyond borders. Terrorism and counter terrorism has become a vicious circle of revenge. They change the morality behind the war to serve their purpose. Very often it is due to the misperception of the other sides’ intention and fear of their strength. Media further uses its powers to fuel war by giving biased coverage. International support is thus swayed with selective reporting. For example, Western Television stations cover the bombing of Israeli civilians repeatedly with photographs to sway public opinion, but only a flashing photograph and short comment is given on Palestinian home that have been razed to the ground of the hundreds rendered homeless and the innocent victims killed by the Israeli army. The long term impact of war on the human minds, and the economy, leads to new generations growing up in a society that breeds fear, hate and insecurity. These are issues that don’t cross the minds of those who initiate war. It is the women in society who try to calm the emotional disturbances of their families, who put the meal on the table with difficulty and try to make it to the next day. Women and children are the true casualties of war. They are the most vulnerable, whether in refugee camps or in demolished homes. They are as patriotic as the men, but they see a future in building peace not destroying lives. Civilian homes and not battle fields are targeted. Consciences become so numbed and leaders glorify killing so that the aggressors no longer differentiate between good or evil, right or wrong. Most societies channel aggression, rather than cooperation. Norms that people absorb as they grow up emphasize goals and interpret realities in a manner that may instill sentiments of antagonism towards others. Children are told not to trust strangers. People are seen as wanting something from us rather than sharing. Distrust, competition, insecurity have harmed the social and moral fabric of our lives. Wars have been fought not only to gain territories but also to emphasize the balance of power in the world system. Ideological conflict is one of the major fuels that have led to continuing loss of human lives. It is the most difficult type to resolve as both sides see victory in either destroying or converting the other. To compromise or accept the other is seen as a betrayal of God, even though all religions preach tolerance and non-violence. This paper attempts to give some ways that women around the world have started and could continue in order to restore peace across borders. They need to build a culture that values life and not death that sees a future in reconciliation not war. Making concessions to end a war needs courage and bravery. Revenge is a fire that burns all sides; it destroys not just the material aspect of our lives but also the spiritual well-being. Mothers as Socializing Agents: Children learn aggressive behavior, biases and intolerance from the early stages of development. The way the parents behave is observed and absorbed my children. If they hear their parents speaking with hate about another religious community, a country or a group, they begin to show the same feeling. On the other hand, if the mother shows tolerance for other religions, acceptance of other ethnic groups, the children, too would grow up accepting others. Mothers can explain why some people show anger because of their past experiences and that they have to be excused. Parents can also try to explain biases that the children hear in school, so that negative discrimination behavior is not automatically absorbed by the young. It is very important for every mother to remove derogatory or prejudiced remarks that children learn in school from others. They can read about the other religions to the child to learn what they believe in. Knowledge about other cultures or religions can breed tolerance and a better understanding. Some government or religious leaders spread negative propaganda through media, school curriculum and public speeches. The mother has to discuss these negative messages and show the children that not everything they hear is correct. She must teach them to question what they hear and to think kindly till they have a reason to think otherwise. Women who have lost a relative in war should remember that teaching revenge to the younger ones can only fuel the fire that consumes more and more human lives. But, remembering the dead as patriots and heroes and saying that the young don’t want this war to go on because mothers all sides are also crying will make the young try and find solutions. Mothers and wives as peace makers reaching out: Women can form power groups with prominent members of their society and lobby against arms buildup and the release of POWs from the other side. They, as voters and citizens can demand the government to take steps towards peace. They can gather signatures and approach International organization to intervene. By organizing a peace march, they can get others. Who were afraid to voice the same anti-war sentiment to join in, Not only their society but the other side will see how peace needs to start. Teachers and Conflict Resolution Skills: Women are a majority of the teaching staff in any country. They, not only educate, but also shape the minds of new generations. The school is a replica of society. Students learn how to interact with other in this environment. There is often conflict between peer groups in the school as the students come from different backgrounds. Teachers can teach conflict resolution in class. They can remind them to respect one another. Anger is a trait found in children and teenagers to deal with the inner turmoil in the minds. They are confused and angry why their country is being attacked. Teaching anger management, by finding ways to reduce the tension among the young is a positive approach. One way could be to involve the young in repairing homes in badly hit areas, the older teenagers could teach the younger students after school. These activities would keep them off the streets and give them self-esteem and a sense of purpose. Those abusing others should apologize immediately to the person. In the United States and the Western world, after Sept. 11, anti Arab or Anti-Islamic sentiment has been spreading. If a Christian should Insult a Muslim or vice-versa, teachers need to get them to understand and discuss what they feel. It would be removing bias, educating them and reducing tension. It would teach the true foundation of all religion – tolerance. Punishment breeds anger while apology trains the students to accept their misconduct and correct it at once. It removes ill feeling on both sides. Issues that are a source of conflict among students should be used as debates to let each side know how the other is thinking. He can then try to convince the other or else be convinced by the opponent. By reasoning, hearing the others views and seeing if they have anything in common, students learn to accept the others view. By getting students to find out when a war started and why? The number of casualties, refugees and prisoners of wars can be interpreted as lost sons, orphaned children and misplaced families. They have to be shown the human tragedy of the war. They have to be told that guns don’t kill people. People kill people. Teachers should not wait for curriculum to change. Bureaucrats and organizations are blindfolded to the impact of literature on children minds. It is teachers, who can explore and instill kindness and remove misperceptions. Hatred and bias has gone across continents, the classroom can diffuse these tensions. Women and Student Speaker Series: The image of the enemy is always of distrust and fear. Nations in conflict tend to perceive each other in remarkably similar ways. To get students to meet on neutral ground and talk about why there is distrust and fear, will be a platform for future peace. They will see the other side with more sympathy and less hatred. Those groups hoping to recruit these youngsters as terrorists will not be able to brainwash them about the other side. Student exchange will also prove that often “the view of the enemy’s aggressive intent is mirrored in each group’s image of the other”. But by changing the other side’s perception of us and our perception of them, students would be taking the first step towards spreading understanding. For example, American students think all Arabs hate them and that they cannot be trusted. They think the Palestinian Conflict is due to anti-Semitism and a hatred of Jews. They do not know the true history of Zionism, the plight of Palestinian refugee camps, the unjust surrounding where the family live their daily lives. If an exchange of students could come and see how Palestinians live. If students from the Palestinian universities could speak of their experiences and why they are anti-American, the next generation of Americans would vote against arming Israel. Lack of contact between hostile groups breeds distrust, which in turn fuels continued antagonism. Women as citizens: Just as the governments of warring nations and the super powers have dehumanized war and made casualties merely numbers, women can personalize the sorrow and constant fear and insecurity that are spread by war and conflict. They can speak through media how both sides have experienced the loss of loved ones, the fear that their children may not return home. They can articulate how much they need peace instead of territory; how they need silence instead of explaining the blasts that keep them awake at night. These shared fears, and longing for a better, peaceful life on both sides can force policy makers to find a solution. Women can march and meet from both sides to show that as members of society they have had enough. They can ask mothers at every door to put down the weapons they have, to stop their sons from killing. They have given life as mothers and can save lives as citizens. They should march to religious centers, where preachers give sermons denouncing others and ask them to teach the tolerance that all religions support. Women & Support Systems: Women have organized as relief workers in all disaster situations. They have learnt to aid the sick and console the grief stricken. What better way to rise above our own sorrows and bring happiness to other’s lives. By taking relief to the enemy’s grounds we can remove the hatred and understand the pain they are in. In Kuwait after the fall of Saddam’s regime, Kuwaiti men and women formed a group to help Iraqi families. They called it the Friendship Society. We know nearly two decades of fear and hatred across borders had created a barrier. This committee has given material help and also made arrangements for cultural exchange so that a bridge could be formed between the two people of Iraq and Kuwait. “The people’s committee for the support of women and children in occupied Palestine” has been an outreach of friendship since 1982. Again Kuwaitis for Jerusalem are another group formed by the Women’s social and cultural society and the graduate society that works with social work organization in occupied Palestine in rebuilding homes, funding small projects that women can begin to support their families, etc. Being out of school, out of jobs can breed frustration, women can collect funds and send it to these towns that need help to reopen schools, to help women start small projects such as laundry making dairy products, sewing and the young could be employed to open small sports clubs to involve the children in a way that channels their energy away from stressful situations. These are few ways that we can begin to restore peace across borders. We all want our children to grow up in a World that respects the rights of others. However, this can only happen if we listen to our conscience and understand our religion correctly. We cannot expect peace if we don’t give it. How can our children show tolerance, if they haven’t seen it. So let us begin now, it is never too late.     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